Pressured to be beautiful? Here’s what you need to know about skin positivity!

That
flawless skin!

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Definition of beauty has evolved to focus on appearance and perfect skin

Skincare has evolved this decade and transformed the definition of beauty.

Skin positivity movement since it started has given the message of loving your skin. To be comfortable in your own skin, living with it and expressing it in your own way. Beauty products have evolved this decade giving a positive outlook to how women look. The pivotal change has helped gain confidence in women and see them from a new angle.

What does skin positivity highlight?

Skin positivity in a crux is all about skin love. It’s the way you see your skin. The social movement started on Social Media on why the way we look at our skin needs a positive outlook. The idea is to stop feeling insecure about the way we look and not be ashamed of it.

A few years ago, a video about a baby went viral on Instagram where she says “Mommy, I’m ugly” and cries out. The notion of perfect skin lies deep-rooted from the millennials, Gen Z & the old aged.

Source: Pexels

We all love skincare, which is part of our daily routine, day and night. But the makeup musings on how to look perfect is portrayed wrong, changing your identity doesn’t make you perfect. It makes us question, who we really are?!

Why do women prefer beauty products?

Looking good or glamorizing oneself is to not to change their look or gain attention or spike the male gaze. The idea about looking good & using beauty products is matched with dressing up for the feel-good factor. A cherry on a cake.

You’re beautiful, the makeup is just a stylist. You are the real art!

Next time you see women advocating for themselves, don’t ask why women wear makeup if they want to be comfortable in their own skin?!

We are comfy. We are just styling it a notch up!

Normalising the dusky skin look

The Brown skin – described for Indians as the brown-skinned person. Often the term sparks racism when hatred loops in. But, the brown skin has now become a fashion statement, the dusky skin look- the natural colour. Given the positivity, the beauty industry embraced with brown skin, the idea of self-love grew.

5 million women in India have been categorised under various shades, but globally we are termed as “brown-skinned girls”. Brown colour, which is based purely on the colour and often told in a fantasised way. It became a fashion statement worldwide.

How ironic, when the world sees brown-skin beautiful, but we consider it ugly?!

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with being fair, but it has become such an obsession in our country that it is all we look for in beauty. There are so many stunning people who are dark-skinned and it should be celebrated. I would love to have a product that makes me darker.”

-Kalki Koechlin

Definition of beauty throughout ages:

How makeup was marketed in the 90s “breakthrough, so new and so sheer” and today the social media and a YT video is way more compelling. These beauty vlogs people follow gives a new image of how people are changing their lifestyle with positivity.

Today, consumers who are well informed of neutralizing the beauty culture- have more control over what constitutes beauty.

To down track the idea of how one looks and how one should look according to the beauty standards created across the industry, we are losing the individual identity of staying true to ourselves. To gel into the mass definition of beauty is costing women their space and their mind to the idea of where they fit in.

In 2019, study from the University of Copenhagen and other universities , according to the group of computational scientists deployed machine learning to analyse 3.5 million books. The books were in English between 1900 to 2008. The books include a mix of fiction and non-fiction literature.

And the results showed ” the words used for women refer much more to their appearances than the words used to describe men”

‘Beautiful’ and ‘sexy’ are two of the adjectives most frequently used to describe women. Commonly used descriptors for men include ‘righteous’, ‘rational’ and ‘brave

University of Copenhagen

I look at people like I look at art, a thoughtful idea, a strong character. A story.

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5 self care ways to treat yourself to if you’re bored in lockdown

Well hello there! Feeling lousy and blank to go through the day. Wish to have that chai or a coffee break as long as you wish? 

Well, the pandemic has made us groove into that mood. I do not call it unproductive, We are just confused, annoyed and bored of the mundane. Things that we used to do, to get the fatigue out is no longer an option, but a hazard! 

So we are on the 2nd term of the lockdown, the same time that of lockdown 2020, where we all packed our bags for a week or two. And we were borrowing our siblings’ clothes or digging our parent’s wardrobe for those pyjamas. 

Here’s are 10 things that you could do, to break the day off:

1. Start Gardening: 
   
   The fresh muller earth is therapeutic to your mental health and also you feel a sense of gratification. Start with daily watering the plants. Move on to plucking the weeds, trimming the shrubs. You could start repotting the old earthen pots that have broken or leaky.
   
   Maybe, build your garden someday, you could plant fresh tomatoes, fenugreek and berries. A smoothie fresh from your garden!  

Source: Pexel

2. Join a dance class
   

Well, it’s time to shake those potato couch attitude up! Low-key we all want to grove on Suit Suit Karda song whenever or wherever/wherever it plays. Burn those calories without panting. All you need is a good playlist, headphones on.

Start letting thins go- there’s no one to judge your bad moves. You could just be bad-ass in your grooves!  

Don’t sweat a second thought on this though.
 

3. Read up unread books
   
   We all have a shelf that is reserved for the books. In those shelves lie your books to read. One’s that you planned to start as a new year resolution. Counting on the best books, you already have a list in your head, if you don’t here are some to pick

Source: Pinterest

1.  A man called Ove: Imagine that dear uncle in your area- who nags a lot? Fights with the bureaucrats for the righteous things. Ove reminds me of that innocent yet grumpy man who points at people he dislikes. Behind the odd behaviour, there is a story and a sadness.
   
   This one falls under the must read books. If this lockdown is wearing you down- grab this one for a good read!
   
   My Favourite Quote:
   
   “We always think there’s enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like ‘if’”
   
   Genre: Fiction
   
2. The Kite Runner: “About friendship of 2 little boys in a war-torn country of Afghanistan.
   

   My Favourite Quote:

“For you a thousand times over”

Genre: Historical Fiction
Watch on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/in/title/70065118 

3. Perks of being a wallflower: Heard about how are extroverts adopting introverts as their best friends? Well this book gives you a journey of a teenager and his struggles with his past
   As he goes through this with his new friends in high school.
   
   Also, there’s a movie on this, a cherry on top? Emma Watson’s the starter.
   Head over to this link to watch on Netflix.
   
   My Favourite quote: 
   
   “We accept the love we think we deserve.”
   
   Genre: Non-Fiction
   Watch on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/in/title/70243461

4. 30 Women in Power: Their Voices, Their Stories: Stories from 30 impeccable women across the country who broke the glass ceiling with their voices! A commendable one penned down by Naina Lal Kidwai.
   
   
   My Favourite Quote:
   
   “The simple truth is that there is nothing like a good challenge to get the adrenalin going.”
   
   Genre: Non-Fiction
   
5. Rabindranath Tagore – Short Stories (Master’s Collections)
   A great collection of tales from Bengal and full of refined stories, written gloriously with powerful artistry.
   

           My Favourite Quote:
       
          “Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom”

          Genre: Poetry

4. Paint that wall

The first thing you see when you are up to is your wall. Well, when you’re stuck and nowhere to go. Staring at a wall is our favourite time pass. Go mad for that wall painting. You will find a dozen of wall painting designs online. Start with choosing a theme and set a colour.

It’s preferred to pick up a bright colour, I would recommend, “Yellow”. A psychological experience, that affects moods and energy, Yellow captures the joy of sunshine. It represents happiness, optimism, inspiration and summer.

Source: Pinterest

If you’ve been staring at that wall for too long. So why not make that wall worth staring at? 

5.  Take that ME-time on a weekday

With the same routine every day and expected thought of how the day rolls on – is an eye-rolling moment.  To save yourself from- I’ll work the week and rest the weekend. Give yourself a moment of unexpected joy- take a break on a weekday.

You’ll be amazed by the new way and maybe learn how to relax on a low-light day of work. 

Source: Pinterest

The purpose of finding a thing that you can connect with is not just to kill time or pass on your boredom, but every little step towards self-care can build your lifestyle. We often spiral into thoughts of our own that can be counterproductive in many ways. Instead, pick up one thing to do from the above and break the mundane.

Finally, remind yourself of your true value at the end of the day of what you are worth! 🙂 

Dark, bold and beautiful!

A woman is more than her colour.

To this date, women across the world are judged upon their colour, body and labelled according to their appearance. Where fair complexion means beautiful and duskier shade is a black beauty. What is this black beauty? Isn’t she just beautiful. There’s no need to add a suffix like that.

Quote: Nandita Das

There’s a subtle reminder to us everywhere that fairness brings you success. Cosmetics called Fair and Lovely has recently been supplemented by a product aimed at men called Fair and Handsome. What? and Why? They are handsome and lovely the way they are dark, warm, cold and every shade. There is already a disgrace around marrying a dark-skinned woman in India. One has to only look at the matrimonial ads seeking “fair” brides, in addition to which our Indian cinematic songs and advertisements play a supporting role in such nefarious practices.

This isn’t racism, per se: it’s colourism, a vice prejudice.

In this era where we are striving hard to get our stand, acquiring education, research and yet, we are running backwards with our ethos. Women and men of colour are looked down on in disdain as though a lighter complexion brings good fortune. What we need to understand is the craze about good looks has corroded our brains. Judging someone on these criteria is utterly shameful and an act of vice.

With education at its prime level, yet our mindset is at rock bottom. There’s a huge change that we ought to acquire.

Maybe, it is time to educate our mid-age parents who still have such thoughts. If you see your parents, aunt, uncle, grandparents, neighbours or relatives talk about someone’s appearance, It’s time for you to step ahead and make them understand that good looks aren’t even a quality to mark check-list.

For the pious ones who claim to be divine followers of their religion and yet indulge in colourism, here are some facts you should look upon:

• In Hindu mythology, even Krishna and Vishnu are described as dark-skinned gods in the scriptures, which are often entitled as fair. And then there is the elephant-headed Ganesha, even though there are no white elephants in India.
• One of the messengers of the Prophet: Hazrat Bilaal, was assigned to call Adhan (call for prayer). He became the first Muslim to perform Adhan (call to prayer) and to quote he was dark-skinned as well. And when our very own deities and prophets were dark-skinned, with what authority and vocal consciousness do we discriminate people with colour? Have we ever thought about this?

Do we have more power than the almighty that we treat people unjustly? When the Supreme deity bears no bias for his disciples, then who are we look down upon them?

Constant reminder:

The way we look is not important than our values and character.

Our skin colour doesn’t matter.

It’s just gross to ask someone how fair the girl is, or how much she weighs. To judge someone’s appearance and concluding is a human’s most common attribute. Having passed comments on looks, they don’t realize the horror they are causing towards the girl and her family. They begin to apprehend that there’s something wrong with their upbringing. The girl herself starts reflecting if she was living in this imaginary bubble, where she is merely a puppet, whose whole life is a lie!

I loathe the category of folks indulging in such practices, and I do not have a reason not to do so.

Cookie Pointers for the one reading this:

• Educate your Parents and Family on this issue. Many a time you are caught up seeing your mother handing over fairness creams to your sisters ‘Kaali’ (Black in Hindi, which she grows listening to). Or most of the times when your sister’s/daughter’s wedding is halted because the guy wanted a fair girl for himself or the mother-in-law wanted a whole new version of a shade of fairness for her ‘lalla’ (kid)
• Isn’t this the time we, who have the power, energy, rage, and resources spark to change this mindset and voice against such daily dramas? It’s time to correct mother, father, uncle, aunt, guardian, and neighbours of their wrongdoings.
• Ask, are we even CIVIL with our mentality? With our utmost wanting of outer beauty or should I say the altered beauty. The next time you hear or come across such spoonful hate or disgust for the women/men of colour, ask them how would they feel if the same had been said about their sons/daughters. It’s not just the hate, but it’s the realization that it’s wrong.
• Remind yourself about the potential you owe.

If you’re feeling like this, I have an advice:

You are beautiful, just the way you’re

The acne on your face shouldn’t be your ache

The dusky skin ushers the same boldness

as the waves against the sea-shore

To conclude, let’s look at some things not to say or ask:

• Is the girl/boy fair enough for my son/daughter?
• I want a beautiful and fair wife/husband
• Like seriously, get a life, Dorks!
• Your classmates will tease you about your colour
• No boy will marry you if you’re this dark. Apply those masks
• Girls have to look pretty and be beautiful
• If I switch off the light, I won’t be able to see you. (It’s so not funny)
• Makeup artists make a note: Make them look like who they are and not brighten their ‘shade’ for no reason
• Also when at Sephora or a beauty shop, if the person asks you to buy a lighter shade foundation than your skin stone, whack them right there
• Eat these, eat that, it’ll give a nice colour to the baby
• She had nice skin before. What happened now? Here, take these fairness creams. To conclude, learn to be comfortable in your skin. Voice your thoughts, and defend time and again until and unless people stop labelling us ‘dusky’, ‘wheatish’ or what I call “camel coloured.” Yeah, I’m camel coloured and I like it that way